past.

to hold on to the past is nature,

but do not hold on for too long. because as much as we cling to the past, 

-- it has already gone. 

but it still okay to turn back sometimes. 

to learn,

from the past.

ignorance

hi, peace be upon you!

behold. the urge of binge writing have come draining out my fingers. haha. my idea keep jumping around in my mind. guess they just screaming out loud to do something other than study. -,- scumbag brain. but. i guess its healthy so yeah im going to write--

Ignorance. i guess its a gift. and i am born with it. yeah sure, i confess, im a bit of enthusiast of everything new when i was little. i could beg and beg for people to explain something that i wonder. i remember asking about pyramid of giza back then. how did they built it? for what? why its "triangular"? (i didnt know the shape is called pyramid, im toddler alright) why not rectangle, bla bla bla. i asked why knife they call knife?why not just call it leaf? and this occurs a lots! like a lot. i knew people getting tired of me asking this and that but i just dont care. haha.

Ok. ignorance. but it was all before century--

now, im the big fat giant ass of ignorance. its not like im getting lazy or what. i have no enjoyment in finding out what people getting on about. its like facebook, i could see people get angry, happy, in love, jealous, mapoti (refer nigahiga) everyday they care so much for little obnoxious things. you angry with someone, why just dont face to face? why had to be on social media for others to see. you want to cry and hoping nobody know, go cry in the cave, not posting it online. and all that kind of stuff. thats one of the reason im an ignorance. its not my preferences to look it up that kind of stuff. is this make me a snob? i dont know, i just cant see it anymore. or dont care.

i cant find any pleasure in getting fight or have over-drown feeling to anybody-- in liking or disliking (apart from my family of course) if i have any non-satisfaction to anybody, or they arent getting my way, id probably just ignore the burning heart, get away for awhile, and trust me, its all gone by mins or two. or a week at least hehe. you know, if i keep dragging things around, the atmosphere would be so ugly you wouldnt want to see it. so just ignore, and walk away. trust me, it works. for me at least. i have a strong belief that anybody could do it too. be patient. in everything.

im not a heartless person, on contrary, i have this giant bag of emotion hanging around my neck. but it is limited. limited to my family, friends, relatives and honestly, for the third world people. they totally have a special place in my heart. so much for ignorance, huh? okay thats all. good luck!

stumps and bumps but life goes on

Hi, peace be upon you!

I've been looking, sitting, waiting around for too long. for the past year, all i did was pasrah. the longest year in my life, being disappointment, happy, sad, laugh, cry all that circle of life. but the season passed. im starting anew now. last year i was devastated so much taking me deep into distress, too deep to find a light, to the point even if i moan, no one could heard,. i know its like i overreacted, but it is the truth. 

-- Till at one point, i had too bring out myself back. it wasnt easy, but i tried. yeah i admit it wasnt even a success. and yeah the turning point is surprise surprise approximately 3 weeks ago. hah! told u. the moment is when the rapturous news i received by a phone call-- i managed to third year. yeah, i admit it was a luck-- nevertheless it was a total breakthrough!

so, the yang to the yin,
few of the closest friend i have, transferred to malaysia. leaving only me and ah. it was kinda hard for me to digest at first because it wasnt even the plan. we thought of studying and graduate here together but yah, He knows better. kun fayakun. :) better accept the reality and move on.

my target: survive third year. mumtaz.

all  those are just wishes, but without a wish, theres no point of struggle. better buckle up, cuz third year is waiting. good luck!

Nothing changes except Time

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

5 April 2005 : The day I met you. You looked at me in a weird way. Guess you dont like me. And i dont understand most of the words you utter. Honestly.

7 April 2005 : The uniform incident. I owe you big! Thank you :*

2006 : We grouped up with four others and started sharing secrets. Shh. Talking about family and past. 

2007 : We clique and became the crime partners. Always, and always I be your side-kick. =)

2008 : Its a blessed we got into the same school. Oh! we certainly applied into art class just to make sure we got into the same classroom. and it was never a regret to me :) Just by luck, we involved in some incidents and led to the 'midnight' project with Suha and Jiha. Hehe! :P

2009 : SPM. We got competitive towards each other, and drifted apart despite always being together. Still, we slept side by side every night. Have our potrait done by Mael.

2010 : Gone to college. Different places, different life. But we contacted each other like never before.  Keep regretting the non enjoyable moments we did in the past.

2011 : Spent our break at Kelantan. Made an 8 pact together ;)

2012 : You were in Kedah and I was and still am in Egypt. We received the most devastated news. and I am so sorry I could not be with you during those tough time. 

2013 : Here am I, still having you as my bestfriend. My other half. I am very, am thankful to Allah for He had given you to me. Alhamdulillah. You are my bestfriend. Nothing changes us except time.

Hope you are still wanting me around as your side-kick. Happy Birthday my dear Anis Nadzirah, I love you. Always have, always will. 

Love, Jue

Communication breakdown

Assalamuailaikum

So yesterday, I hang out with one of my Sabahan friend, Nong. And while we were talking, there's a lot of misunderstanding, misinterpretation awkward moments. Haha! Its like I absorbed the words roughly and interpreted em' randomly. *Tongue sticks out

Here's the conversations goes :

#SITUATION 1 (watching a video on Utube)

J : Smooth gile diorang menari.

N: Kan? Haha. Tengok yang ni pulak. Best..hihi...baru study.

J : Eh bila kita study ni? Takde pun *merujuk kpd tarian tersebut*

N: Nanti la

J : Hah?

N: Nanti kita tengok video ni kita study la

J : Heh?......

N: Lepas kita tengok video ni,.. kita studyyy...

J : Oh, lepas habis tengok video ni, baru kita study? study buku? I thought u mean study the dance routine. LOL

#SITUATION 2

N: Eh jue, kau tengok nama blog aku tu bida' tak dengan blog?

J : Hmm ok je aku rasa.

J : Sama je..

N: Apa yang sama?

J : Err.. blog kau? 

J : Aku rasa takde perubahan apa pun

N: ....

N: Bukan, bukan. kau rasa bida' tak?

J : Hmmm ape mksud ko?

J : Bida' tu bukan ke beza ke maksud dia?

N: Hahahahahahaha. Bukan la jue..

N: RINDAZ (nama blog) tu bida tak dengan aku, err, ok tak dgn aku?

J : Oh.. hhehe

*bida : sesuai, padan, etc etc

Therefore, jangan sedap-sedap hati je buat translation words tu, kan dah pening.

Lesson learnt.

Hadiah

Assalamualaikum

Epic day. Epic morning. Today is real epic.

I woke up 15mins before the class start, with no water running in the house. Huh. And waking up from a nightmare too. -.-

Sadis.

Therefore, I skipped the first class. By the time of second class, which at 1 pm, I walked down to faculty with Nong as per usual. And thennn, Fiq called me reminding me about the practical test today, which I totally FORGOTTEN about! Shoot! Praktikal kot! With experiments and all that. Danggg!
Kalau teori aku belasah masuk je, even tak prepare pun. Ni praktikal. *Gulp.
So, tettt. Fail!

***

We managed to the town. Buying some cakes and searching around some stuff. Then Nong got me and herself these super duper cute pouch bags. As a belated birthday present. Aww, so sweet of her :') *Puppy eyes. Love you Nong! Bunch Thanks! Hik.

Hot red actually. Tapi nampak pink sikit kat sini. Oh nvm :)

Later :)

Nail Art

Yes or No.

Despite my fanciness towards nail polish slash nail art, I'm still putting myself a slight ground rules to make it more acceptable and subtle to wear it around.

Besides, i just put it on my nails once a month. That time of the month. But sometimes, to release some tension or when im stressing out, i decorate some on my nails just for fun and remove them away a few hours later. Lol.

Lets the picture talks for themselves.

YES

NO

YES

YES

YES

EWW..

Tips and tricks :

1. Choose a simple and cute designs.

- Minimize my times! I dont want taking a long shot just for the nails. 

2. No excessive glitters.

- Glitters is hard to remove. I need to clear the nail polish out completely to perform an ablution. So, definitely no unnecessary glitters!

3. Wear a base and top coat.

- Just some protection for my nails. Hiding under the layers of nail polish makes the nail unhealthy. Wear a base coat! The top coat secure the nail designs from chipping away and add beautiful shine onto the nail.

4. No need to fully-covered the nails.

- Don't make it hard by painting the nail bed completely. Just paint it on the center. No need to fill them up till reach the cuticles and the edges. It will provides you a clean and tidy design. plus the nail will looks longer!

Picture courtesy of Tumblr.com.


Have fun!

That kind of story

People says

"When you are studying abroad, there are so many exciting things awaits you."

"When you are far away blended in some foreign cultures, you will be adapting."

"If you are a foreigner to some people, you shall be independent yourselves."

I'd say

The loneliness is enormous than excitements.

Till this day, I am still feel awkward to this very country.

And I'm perfectly sure I was more independent back then.

Enough said.

Falling

Oh crap! I'm in love.

Currently in love with him.

#him

New semester

Of Eid and Ramadhan kareem

bismillahirrahmanirrahim

Salam Ramadhan dan Aidilfitri :)

Current time.9.10pm 18/08/2012. EID EVE. and here i am sitting in front of laptop, listening to Takbir raya :'( Tahun ni pun raya kat Mesir lagi. Nak buat macam mana jodoh kat sini lagi panjang. Tak apa lah, umur panjang, ada rezeki, jumpa lagi lebaran di tanah air. Celebrating eid here is not that bad okay. Its good. Awesome indeed. But still i miss my family badly :(

Nevertheless, lets cherish our moments here or wherever we are!

HAPPY EID MUBARAK PEOPLE.

may be blessed :)

Brave

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

Hey Assalamualaikum.

"Life is not a bowl of cherries, its a crock!"

Ouh. Its a tagline i read it somewhere on a Twitter account belongs to McNa or Husna, a colleague of mine :) *aah, missing her already*

Obviously true right? Its just how the life works. You have to go through pain, sorrow, multiple-problems-at-a time, heart-breaks, ache, love, happiness, failure, then triumph, flub then successful, fortunate, hapless, glorious, sadness and everything in between.

There will be ups and downs. No matter what. So, we just need to be strong. For everything happens for a reason. Allah pun berfirman dalam Surah Al-Baqarah ayat 286 ; Allah tidak memberi kesusahan kepada seseorang hamba melainkan apa yang termampu olehnya. Thus, nothing to be worried for :) I've been through a lots. Trust me, life do crocked! I've faced so many obstacles, so many challenges , too many tears had fallen apart. And I believed there's more awaited for me. But I know, deep down in my heart, I know, He prepared something worthily for me. He got a plan for me. A plan that only He knows. and Its just a matter of time to reveal it. So, I have to be strong whatever it takes. I still have to walk on this life and live it. Hmmph, not to mention, a venture is unconditionally vital-- Yeah, everything is not gonna work on themselves won't they? Ahah! Keep trying, keep praying and always in positive vibes. and you will survived :)



Well, there's time I feel so stuffy and nothings right. Sometimes I do feel sad when others couldn't understands me. and sometimes I frivolously take things for granted, driven me to a bad decision-- Lucky me, I could always turn around and reflects the crap that I did. Yess, I admit its ain't easy. But hey, at least i tried~ No matter how its had through and no matter how far it had gone. We can still manage them if we want to. Its life after all ;)





Oh, and the best part of life is 'the only one whom can mess it up or make it out is me.' Just me :D

Ignore much?

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

Assalamualaikum fellow readers. I just wanna share some thoughts of mine. I was kinda ignorant. Thats just the way I was. But thank God for those web articles, social networks, the online articles, or even just by pictures, I can see the world. From my own perspective at least-- From there, I could see the Muslims in Syria are dying. The Palestine are suffering, The Africans are starving, The Myanmar are killing. The world is so cold. I wonder wheres the humanity had gone? Why the media is muted? Its just so sad, so heart breaking seeing new sorrow pictures updated day by day. They crying each day and nights. Suffering. Fears. Yet they remember the Lord each seconds of their life. Wondering if the day is the last for them..

Meanwhile in here, what are we doing? Laughing and laughing, entertaining ourselves, missing prayers, eating with desires. We see, but then we closed our eyes. We heard, then we closed our ears. We know, but we pretends its not ours to solve. We ignored them. Wake up people, if not us, who would solve this? If not us, who will hear them crying? Who would give them a hand? Who would fight together with them? At least, supports them. Its not that hard, Its just need a little concern! Its just us in the world. Think guys! Maybe Allah is testing us-- Whether we would concerned or we wouldn't about our brothers and sisters. About Islam. About humanity. They are suffering in here, but they shall attain Jannah (insyaAllah) But we, we entertained here, yet are we that worthy to enter Jannah? Allah is testing us my dear, not just them. Its the truth that every Muslims should know. 

The Palestinian are forbidden in their own country. The Muslims in Syria is murdered because they follow the Prophet, Muhammad (pbuh). The Myanmar's is killed because the believe in Islam. The African is dying because there's no food there.

Hard to picture all of these?

Its simple. Just imagined yourselves been there, be with them, or just be them. and asks yourselves..

"How would you feel?"

Just a picture

Loner

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

I was a bit loner actually. Wakaka. Joking! Imma talking about my blog actually. My blog ni somehow empty kan. My friends told me too. Theres nothing on my blog. I know i know. Blog ni memang tak mesra manusia sikit. Teheee. I like to blog. But I don't prefer much public. Plus, theres nothing good here I guess. Just a place for me myself to share my own feeling and memories. Eceh. Dan dan pulak jiwang. Lagi satu, my writing is some kind of rojak. And peeps much prefer to read casual writing I suppose. (Me too) Mesti lah nak baca blog yang sempoi-sempoi je kan. Kalau blog syok sendiri macam aku punya ni, nak baca pun tak faham. Only the owner who'll get the message. Err. See? Thats what my meaning was! I could sense that only me and myself who could read and understand this post. Wakaka. Whatever :P

Ok. Wassalam :)

Exam-is-on-the-edge-of-the-wood-of-the-ship-of-the-pirates XD

Bismilllahirrahmanirrahim

HUAHUAHUAHUAHAHAHAHAHA

Exam buat muka sedih sebab nak habis. I am ze pirates holding the sword! :D Ready to push the exam into the water. Im gonna kill the last paper. Pray for me and my friends here for the last paper tomolo! 

- Semoga kami semua lulus dengan cemerlang-

insyaALLAH

TEST

:)

The lost diadem

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

Hey, Assalamualaikum. Actually, today i met someone. its good to meet up people right? but, today i just feel that i shouldnt met her at the first place. She's a good guy you know. Very sweet and humble. For once i knew her...

The first time i met her, shes kinda polite and got her own rule. She speaks right. and when others did a wrong or not good for a muslimah, she corrected them nicely. i always knew her like that. And today i met her as a new person. i was kinda hmmm confused but she like so different now. From a large hijab to a short scarf. its like she is not she anymore :( 

i always know i aint a good person. but the things is, i feel the lost through her.. for me, its just so hard to start to wear the best hijab of all (long, covered, thick one) but seems like she got them already, then throwing away the best gift like that. i feel so frustrated! 

Shes still a nice person. and im not hating her at all. im just feeling sad. so i shared the story. hope all of us will hold into our Imaan and Islam tightly.. Bila-bila masa Allah boleh tarik, and we dont want them kann? Berdoalah untuk kita semua.. insyaAllah.

Ahhh, note that shes only as one example. there are many people loosing. i'm afraid. i'm so afraid. What if i'll be like them. Nauzubillah hi minzalik... lets Allah guided us all to the right path. the path for Jannah.

Good day.

The LIST

bismillahirrahmanirrahim

It crossed my mind long time ago, to post about my wish list. So, here I am today. Hee. and the list goes on randomly without any priorities so dont get a wrong idea. Here they goes..

1. Become a Hajjah.

2. Buy an iPad.

3. Get a scholar.

4. Backpacking / travelling around the World.

5. Have a bakery / nursery.

6. Excellent in studying.

7. Buy a watch for my sisters.

8. Have a SLR. (AE-100 specifically)

9. Get married and live in UK. (single is also accepted)

10.  Good in swimming

I update later. This only ten. and its actually goes up to hundreds. Hehe. Kidding!

Alright seems like anatomy is calling out my name. Take care peeps. Love

Because the skin is too mainstream

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

Last night, i've got a terror. an insect-terror. Instead stinging my thin skin, the most huge, enormous black ant bite my eye! my eye! my precious eye! and its stung a lot! sakit gila weh! i dont know how it can be up there. I was eating those pumpkin seed *trevor's food* and suddenly i felt something unpleasant inside my eyes, like a dust. Then, i sensored something larger than a dust and it stung my eyes. Pain. I asked Aten to look after them and she was kinda shock. Asking me to sit still she tried to pull up 'something' inside my eyes. I was nervous that times, seeing the nervous face of Aten. *psycho* Then i started to yell. hehe. Teha came to rescue. she pulled that thing. hmmph, its somehow not that easy you know. and its stung much. Erghh, seriously very unpleasant and annoyed. I slept after sometime. sebab sakit mek. and ended up not study at all semalam. heh. 

I'm thinking about the first-aid course and Maher Zain's concert. Hows that sound?

Ah, do pray for my friends and I for these upcoming papers,
PHYSIOLOGY 
ANATOMY
 HISTOLOGY 
and
 PSYCHOLOGY.

Love