ignorance

hi, peace be upon you!

behold. the urge of binge writing have come draining out my fingers. haha. my idea keep jumping around in my mind. guess they just screaming out loud to do something other than study. -,- scumbag brain. but. i guess its healthy so yeah im going to write--

Ignorance. i guess its a gift. and i am born with it. yeah sure, i confess, im a bit of enthusiast of everything new when i was little. i could beg and beg for people to explain something that i wonder. i remember asking about pyramid of giza back then. how did they built it? for what? why its "triangular"? (i didnt know the shape is called pyramid, im toddler alright) why not rectangle, bla bla bla. i asked why knife they call knife?why not just call it leaf? and this occurs a lots! like a lot. i knew people getting tired of me asking this and that but i just dont care. haha.

Ok. ignorance. but it was all before century--

now, im the big fat giant ass of ignorance. its not like im getting lazy or what. i have no enjoyment in finding out what people getting on about. its like facebook, i could see people get angry, happy, in love, jealous, mapoti (refer nigahiga) everyday they care so much for little obnoxious things. you angry with someone, why just dont face to face? why had to be on social media for others to see. you want to cry and hoping nobody know, go cry in the cave, not posting it online. and all that kind of stuff. thats one of the reason im an ignorance. its not my preferences to look it up that kind of stuff. is this make me a snob? i dont know, i just cant see it anymore. or dont care.

i cant find any pleasure in getting fight or have over-drown feeling to anybody-- in liking or disliking (apart from my family of course) if i have any non-satisfaction to anybody, or they arent getting my way, id probably just ignore the burning heart, get away for awhile, and trust me, its all gone by mins or two. or a week at least hehe. you know, if i keep dragging things around, the atmosphere would be so ugly you wouldnt want to see it. so just ignore, and walk away. trust me, it works. for me at least. i have a strong belief that anybody could do it too. be patient. in everything.

im not a heartless person, on contrary, i have this giant bag of emotion hanging around my neck. but it is limited. limited to my family, friends, relatives and honestly, for the third world people. they totally have a special place in my heart. so much for ignorance, huh? okay thats all. good luck!

stumps and bumps but life goes on

Hi, peace be upon you!

I've been looking, sitting, waiting around for too long. for the past year, all i did was pasrah. the longest year in my life, being disappointment, happy, sad, laugh, cry all that circle of life. but the season passed. im starting anew now. last year i was devastated so much taking me deep into distress, too deep to find a light, to the point even if i moan, no one could heard,. i know its like i overreacted, but it is the truth. 

-- Till at one point, i had too bring out myself back. it wasnt easy, but i tried. yeah i admit it wasnt even a success. and yeah the turning point is surprise surprise approximately 3 weeks ago. hah! told u. the moment is when the rapturous news i received by a phone call-- i managed to third year. yeah, i admit it was a luck-- nevertheless it was a total breakthrough!

so, the yang to the yin,
few of the closest friend i have, transferred to malaysia. leaving only me and ah. it was kinda hard for me to digest at first because it wasnt even the plan. we thought of studying and graduate here together but yah, He knows better. kun fayakun. :) better accept the reality and move on.

my target: survive third year. mumtaz.

all  those are just wishes, but without a wish, theres no point of struggle. better buckle up, cuz third year is waiting. good luck!